THE CALL

The Call. It all comes down to The Call. I really don´t know exactly when I should call Esperanza…I mean, what are the rules on that? I know that she knows that I am desperately in love with her. She has to. Still, I don´t want to seem like some totally drooling ghoul. This would be either my Apocalypse (Now) or my Garden of Eden, and the margin for it going either way is thinner than the remainder of hair on my father’s head.  One slip-up, one awkward pause, prolonged silence, one stupid or misunderstood joke - and epic disaster looms. What is the protocol on calling a girl, anyway?  

Monday passes. Tuesday comes, but that is the night All In The Family and MASH are on TV back-to-back! My favorite shows. I’m not missing them for nobody. 

So it comes down to Wednesday. Even I know that if I don’t call her by today, they’ll probably be packs of gold-tooth and matching chains mira-miras, just waiting for their opportunity to charm Esperanza.

All day in school, I am afflicted with a severe case of the nervous farts. Though I try my best to restrict this particular activity to walking quickly in the hall, hoping the black kids would blame it on some unsuspecting white kid.

When I arrive at The Fox Hole in the afternoon, I try to wash away that feeling along with the dishes, but I know it is not to be. I tell Marc, the other dishwasher, this Greek kid burnout who always stinks of reefer and hash, that I need a major bathroom break.  Downing a few shots from the bottle of Pepto Bismo, Tommy Boy leaves on the shelf above the dishwasher, I march downstairs to the payphone to face my destiny. First, I go to the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face, as I stare in the mirror. Willing myself to go ahead, and do what I have to do.  I walk over to the urinal even though I don’t really have to go, but it’s a good stalling tactic.

Just then, Philly, Tommy’s (the owner) youngest son, and a bit of a strange character, makes his usual entrance.  I find it rather odd, and also extremely creepy, that every time I go to the bathroom these days, Philly instantly appears a minute later. And takes his leak exactly two urinals over from me. He does it again, of course, but now heads over to the mirror to admire himself, as he usually does.

Suddenly, he launches into this rendition of The Rolling Stones song, Angie, employing his ever-present hairbrush as a microphone.

“Angie, I need you”…

He sneaks a look at me, then executes this perfect Mick Jagger move. He thrusts forward his upper torso, wiggling his butt and high-stepping backwards, as he caresses his chest while tightly gripping the ‘mike’.

The spooky thing is, that he actually looks a lot like Mick, albeit a darker, Italian version of him. Tall and skinny, same gangly arms and legs - and especially the lips. No doubt he’s got the lips. He totally digs it when customers tell him he resembles Jagger, too.  

Even his voice is somewhat similar, which is really surprising, since he possesses the most irritatingly nasal, high-pitched cackle when he normally talks. He’s got to be practicing this stuff secretly in his bedroom, I bet. Because if he ever did it in front of his brothers - or especially his father - they would freaking pummel him.

Half reviled, because in some freaky way, I feel he’s directing it at me, and half enjoying the show, I finally have enough, and break over to the toilet stalls. He better not follow me in here. My plan to just wait him out is rewarded a couple of moments later, as I hear Tommy Boy yelling for him to come back upstairs. There, now I can make my call.

A SUDDEN PAIN

 Joey is so proud of his Esperanza meeting - and especially his new gold outfit - when suddenly -

         I have my gold outfit now- I am bad. And I’m going to swagger that way into school, wearing it today. Yet, I also feel kind of alone, a twinge of sadness overtakes me. I want to share this moment with somebody. I had always shared times like this with Skinny before, and it really pained me that this sort of distance had developed between us. I knew he kind of resented that I had pulled away lately, and was acting so “cool.” But I missed him. I wanted to make it up to him; I wanted it to be more like the old times. We hadn’t even been walking to school together lately like we had always done. I decided that this morning, I’m going to let him in on everything that’s been going on with me now. I’ll take the initiative. I walk across the street to his house to pick him up for school, and am both amazed and dismayed when Aunt Tina informs me that he had already gone. And it’s like ten minutes earlier than we usually leave! What the hell is going on? Maybe he’s walking with Daniel Webb? Yeah, that’s it. I figure if I hurry, I can probably catch them on the next block. I take a right down John Street, and break into a trot on Fourth Avenue. Ah, just as I thought! There he is about two blocks ahead of me, walking with somebody, although it doesn’t look like Daniel. As I gallop up the road to catch them, I can see now it’s definitely not Daniel. It’s a girl, and they’re both talking animatedly. As I get closer, I don’t want to appear all flushed and sweaty and anxious, especially not with my new rags. Remain cool at all times. I now bop up to them at a kind of casual pace, as if I just happened upon them by accident.

“Kyla McBride?”

What the hell was he doing walking with her? An instant shot of jealousy unexpectedly rages through me, as I try to cover up my grimace. Man, she looks cute! I haven’t seen her in a little while, and it seems she has now blossomed into full beauty.

“H-hey, Kyla - hey, Skinny… what’s up?”

 The situation, at least for me, seems painfully awkward.

I become a bit self-conscious of them just staring at me for a few seconds, as I look down at my gold outfit. It’s a look kind of between astonishment and confusion.

“Um-yeah…I-uh-just bought this at Three Guys the other day.” I struggle to regain some form of composure.

“Oh! That’s nice, Joey.” Kyla comments. Skinny nods his head.

The conversation is pretty stilted, as we all walk the rest of the way to school. Then Skinny walks her over to the ninth grade entrance door, disappearing inside.

And I was alone.

I fight myself to contain the angry bile bubbling up in my stomach. And the hurt. I mean, Skinny knows that I had really liked Kyla. Apparently, I still do. But why is it affecting me this way? I mean, I’m in love with Esperanza! I have new friends now – I’ve gotten past all that.

I walk into school, cloaked in an invisible shroud of dejection where my gold clothes should have been. Even though I notice people observing my new outfit, probably with admiration, my day is ruined.

A DREAM

     So after Joey sees Esperanza at Tijeras de Oro with his gold emsemble, the portrait he drew of Esperanza - and especially her KISS - and her number, he is in a daze for who knows how long? He had left his parent’s house much earlier in the morning...

   I don’t know what I do for the next few hours. I have no memory of it, but by the time I finally get home, it’s almost 6 o’clock. My whole family’s gathered at the dinner table, eating supper.

“Oooh- you are in troubllle!” cries out my sister Karen.

“Where the hell were you all day?” screams my mother.

We called around everywhere! Your cousins didn’t know, Daniel Webb hadn’t seen you, we even called The Fox Hole, to see if you were working. And what is that in your ear?”

Shit! I had completely forgotten about the hoop earring again.  

“Nothing.” I mutter as I pull it off and put it in my pocket.

“So? Where were you?” We worried all day!”

“I- I- went to (I stammer) -

“And what the hell kind of get up is that? Who are you supposed to be? Liberace, for crissakes? rants my father.

“Joey thinks he’s black, Daddy!” cries out Maryanne

“Yeah, he wants to be Shaft.” Chimes in Karen.

“No-Superfly!” Maryanne continues.

“I don’t know what the hell is going through that head of yours these days,” my father laments, shaking his head as he scans my outfit.

“You were supposed to clean out the garage and rake the backyard today", my mother continues.

“You better get your ass in gear, my friend. Now sit down and eat your dinner.” my father warns.

 “Yeah! Sit down and eat your dinner!” mocks Karen.

“Shut up - mustachio!” I yell.

“You shut up! Shaft!” she retorts

“All of youse shut up.” growls my father.

“I didn’t say anything- “

A slap to my head comes forth.

“Oww!!”

The dinner table had a way of knocking the momentum out of you.

A BRAVE NEW WORLD

So after I snap up my new ensemble, my new world, and all the love from Three Guys, I head out proudly, gift in hand to make my presentation to Esperanza!

I stride down the blocks, checking my look in every shop and car window I pass, like I’m a Greek god, or something. Like I’m Zeus. Just before I arrive at the beauty salon, I slip the gold earring on again, digging the way it shines against my gold ensemble. Yeah, I am bad. There she is, her butt facing me again. Wearing tight white pants, a snug pink top, and those amazing stiletto heels. Daamn! How could anyone look that good?! I almost spontaneously burst into tears, that’s how incredibly beautiful she is. My only focus at this moment, is exactly what’s going on there in the Tijeras de Oro. Nothing else matters. Not even air. Not even breathing, which I have to remind myself to do now. I also have to remind myself again, that everything I’ve done in the last few weeks was to get close to her. Snapping out of my lovesick trance, I manage to step into the shop. I’m immediately blown away by the contrast in energy and style, between here and Three Guys. It’s as if I’m stepping into a glam rock concert, with all the flashing lights, riotously loud music, and high-pitched gossip. I stealthily take a seat behind where Esperanza’s cutting hair, and am almost immediately recognized by Lydia, the beautician next to Esperanza.

“Esperaaaanza (she draws out her name teasingly), su Romeo está aquí, mami!”

         Instantly, it’s like the place goes wild with whistles. Esperanza looks up – surprised - and I am greatly relieved to see that dead look is gone. She is back to her old self, thank God. She turns to me, grins, shakes her head, and goes back to cutting. The razzing continues.

“Por cuando es la boda, mami?”

“Dime la fecha? Necesito vestido nuevo!”

It goes on like this for a while, as Esperanza laughs.

“Callanse- putas!” she retorts.

The kissing sounds grew louder.

A permanent smile spreads over my face. Even though I don’t know exactly what they’re saying, I got a pretty good idea of what’s going on.

Esperanza looks very amused.

“Hi papi, how you doing?”

 I love her voice, her intonations. I love everything about her.

“H-hi, Esperanza.”

“You look cute today, that’s a cute outfit. You look nice in gold, baby.”

“Thanks.” I clear my throat.

“You didn’t forget me yet, heh papi?”

“No…I…was…I got something for you, Esperanza.”

“What? Another gift, papi? Oh Dios mio! Ok, just wait till I finish up with my customer here, and I’ll take a cigarette break, ok?” 

I nod hopefully.

“Don’t worry, I promise I’ll talk to you this time.” She laughs.

“Speak with your heart, my brother, speak with your heart.” Bakir's words of advice reverberate through my head. God, I hope she likes my drawing. Keep cool. Keep positive.

In a few minutes, she’s done with her customer, and is grabbing her pocketbook from the counter.

“C’mon, baby, let’s go out on our cigarette…break.”
Again the room echoes with good-matured teasing.

“Oooh, buena suerte, Esperanza - cuidado!”

Esperanza laughs as she flips them the finger and sticks out her tongue, and we waltz out that door. Once we reach the alley on the side of the shop, she grabs a pack of Virginia Slims from her pocketbook, and expertly lights up the cigarette in one graceful motion.

Jeez- she even smokes sexy.

She points the pack at me and gestures.

“Um…no…I…I-uh-don’t smoke… Virginia Slims”

She smiles knowingly.

“Yeah, they be like girly cigarettes, right?” She makes a kind of mocking face.

I smile.

“O.k., ok, you busted me! I don’t smoke - at all.”

“You’re smart! They so bad for you. Mi tia, I mean, my Aunt Ruthie - she got throat cancer from that shit…she died.”

“How come you still smoke, then?”

“Honey, I do a lot of things I shouldn’t be doing.”

She winked. My knees almost buckle.

I can’t help but just fawn at her. Now I could finally understand why girls scream and cry when they see a big rock star at a concert. Especially like when girls would swoon and faint at the sight of The Beatles. Crazy. I remember John Lennon once said that The Beatles were bigger than Jesus Christ. That is what I feel about her.

She is bigger than Jesus Christ! But I mean, I can’t just scream or faint. That would be way too queer.

“Daammn, papi (she laughs) don’t just stand there and stare at me and shit!” she reaches out and touches my hand.

“What did you want to tell me?”

“Um...uh…I stammer.

 I couldn’t get my tongue to work. C’mon asshole, say something. This is your last chance. She’s waiting. I look at my envelope, and quickly hand it to her.

“What’s this?”

“It’s for you.”

“Oh, I love presents.”

She opens it and takes the drawing out. I ravenously scour her face for any reaction, while simultaneously praying to St. Peter and Saint Francis. She scans and scans it. C’mon, say something! Anything.

“Oh, papi! You drew this!?”

I nod hesitantly.

Oh, Dios mio- it is so beautiful! I can’t believe it. Oh, my God - I didn’t know you was an artist!

She comes over and kisses me right on the lips, and she lingers there for a brief moment!

“You be so sweet! How did you do this without no picture of me? You don’t got no pictures of me, right?”

“Um- no! I- I just kept picturing you in my mind… and I- just drew it.”

“Oh, you be so cute. This is the   bestest present anybody ever gave to me. I gotta show this to the girls- c’mon.”

She grabs me by the arm and rushes me through the door. She excitedly goes up to Lydia.

“Lydia- mira - look at what my little honey made for me! Ain’t that so beautiful?!”

“Oh, Dios mio! Oooh - el es tan dulce.” she gushes.

In a second, all the other ladies, and even their customers, are crowding around the drawing, and the cackling in Spanish reaches a crazy crescendo. It must go on for, like, five minutes. One of the ladies turns and points at me.

“Mira- Mira- cara roja!”

"Oh pobrecito!" comes the chorus. Esperanza comes over and hugs me.

“Oh, he’s embarrassed - he’s so cute, right?”

They’re all making such a fuss over me. I secretly love it. Then Esperanza kisses me again - on the lips! I just hope I’m not going to faint. She puts the drawing back tenderly in the envelope.

“I’m gonna get a frame for this, papi, and hang it right up in my bedroom.”

After the madness dies down a little, I want to make sure that I ask her what I came to ask her. I feel strong and proud.

“Esperanza? Could we go back outside again - just for a minute?” She smiles.

 “Ok.”

As soon as we hit outside, before I have a chance to freeze up again, I just blurt  it out.

“Esperanza - do you think we could go out sometime? To a movie or dinner?”

She touches my face, plays with my curls for a second, and clucks her tongue.

 Oh, papi, you be so sweet… but I think maybe you a little bit too young for me, you know? How old are you anyway? Like sixteen?”

“Seventeen!” I quickly reply. But I’m pretty sure she knows I’m lying.

“How old are you? Oops! I shouldn’t have asked that…so…”

“That’s all right, baby, but you know, a woman never tells her age.”

“Yeah…I’m sorry.”

“But I’m gonna let you know anyway, just ‘cuz you so cute. I’m twenty.”

That’s pretty much what I had thought.

“I-I don’t care if you're older than me, Esperanza! I got a good job now! I’m making good money. I’m working in an Italian restaurant. Real classy”.

She crinkles her nose again just like Elizabeth Montgomery on Bewitched, and giggles.

She keeps smiling - and looks at me for a few seconds right in the eye. I almost can’t take it, that way she looks at me. But I can’t look away either. Is this what it’s like to be in love?