The Zone...the zone, man - that's the place where every writer wants to be. It's's kinda - like... a miracle! Every writer - or, in fact, anybody who's ever done a creative project - or has been passionate about something they are working on - knows about The Zone. It's not like you can get there all the time, either. Actually, it's kind of a rare and difficult place to be in, never mind STAY IN - but when you are in it - the last thing you want is to be interrupted, y'know what I mean? So, I'm in my favorite writing spot - Panera in Hoboken, NJ - and I am IN IT! Locked in. NOTHING else matters.

Suddenly, a familiar, but dreaded presence, hovers over me.... STEVE! Now, most people wouldn't bother you when they see you so - inspired - but not Steve. NO-NOTHING can stop him!! 

"You know...."

"Steve, I'm really trying to work on something here..."

But this seems to spur him on even more!

"You have to work in a school cafeteria - but you must apply IMMEDIATELY - this one in Jersey City. I know the school Chancellor there - he is a Greek. I can talk to him about getting you in, but you have to go there the day after tomorrow! They have excellent benefits, you work there for 10 years, they even have a dental will be set."

I'm trying to remain in this rarified state I've attained.

"Yeah, Steve, I'll look into it, ok?"

Oddly satisfied, he strolls off down the aisle, seeking out his next victim...ten minutes pass....I am - writing furiously, man. All in.

" You know - the next book you should write is about the Mafia - and their relations with the black community."



Joe Montaperto

Writer, murderer, bon vivant par excellance - I pay the rent as a catering bartender, and sometimes shoot poison darts at white people from trees in Hoboken, while shouting UUUMMMBBAAAAGGGGAAAA!!