Yup…about twice a year. That’s when whole new crop of ‘musical theater fairies’ invade ‘The Big City’. A busload of them - at least. Pouring in from all over the globe. Well, mostly from Ohio, for some reason. Fresh faced, spanking new 20 somethings come to New York for their shot at ‘fame and fortune’. Flush with hopeful dreams of starring in the next big Broadway musical! They come to the catering companies to pay the rent while they audition and ‘pay their dues.’

For the first few years, they remain perky, polite and full of energy - always hopeful that their persistence and talent will shine through. The bright lights and diversity of the big city leave them in awe, - causing them to exclaim things like -” I could never imagine living anywhere but New York!’ After all, they do come from Ohio.

The years pass. They begin to see their dreams fade away. Soon, they acquire the dull look of a trapped animal. At this point, they turn to alcohol - hitting the bottle with a fury. Others turn to heroin. Still others develop a deadly chewing tobacco habit. Another six months, a year pass by - and they have become raging alcoholics, heroin addicts, and…well…TOBACCO chewers. It all begins to snowball downhill - at last, they realize they have been in catering too long - they can’t do ANYTHING else! They’ve become catering lifers! Oh, the humanity…Next blog will feature actual case studies.

Joe Montaperto

Writer, murderer, bon vivant par excellance - I pay the rent as a catering bartender, and sometimes shoot poison darts at white people from trees in Hoboken, while shouting UUUMMMBBAAAAGGGGAAAA!!