FINALLY...the moment you've all been breathlessly awaiting...'The Yerba Mate Ritual!'

As I sit here, at the Panera in Hoboken, NJ, I am tearing up to Cat Stevens, 'Father&Son', playing mournfully in the background...but I MUST carry on somehow - even though - "I know I have to go away...I know I have to go". Get a hold of yourself, mahn! Ok, here goes, as promised...'The Yerba Mate Ritual'.  I can't stop sobbing... alright!

When I enter this Panera, I have in my backpack an old (or used, in any case!) paper Panera cup. I stroll in, first completing the my aforementioned feast (refer to previous blog!), then immediately placing two vibrant teabags of Guyuaki Yerba Mate tea bags in the cup, then cleverly filling it to the brim with hot (boiling?) water, simultaneously dropping EXACTLY two slices of lemon into the scalding water, and securing the top! After it steeps for PRECISELY 10 minutes, I put TWO teaspoons of Y.S.Eco Bee Farms Organic Raw honey, and TWO sprinkles of ORGANIC cinnamon (it MUST be organic, otherwise, you may be ingesting cinnamon-flavor only!!), and sip, while thoughtfully devouring my Green&Black's 70% cacao organic chocolate bar - PRECISELY 1.9 oz.!) Now, I am satiated, satisfied, and able to sit for the next 3 hours and write long-hand. I MUST NOT be disturbed!!!

Joe Montaperto

Writer, murderer, bon vivant par excellance - I pay the rent as a catering bartender, and sometimes shoot poison darts at white people from trees in Hoboken, while shouting UUUMMMBBAAAAGGGGAAAA!!